————————–STAR WARS———————–

Part VII: The Revenge of the Lost Limbs

It was a time of great disturbance and pain in the Republic. The Empire was taking control of whole systems across the galaxy. But nothing compared to the atrocities taking place in places few dare to travel.

This is the heroic battle between good and evil- where life and limb were at stake for their, er, lives! This is the story unsung until now- This is the story of the Revenge of the Lost Limbs!

Okay, it’s really more a list, but you get the idea… This is a list of the limbs cut off on and by our main characters, with a few blown up bits for good measure!

Phantom Menace

Darth Maul: Sliced in half. Unfortunately, there can only be one Sith Lord and one apprentice. Old Mauly screwed this up by thinking two of him would be better then one…

The Clone Wars

Bounty Hunter changeling: Hand sliced off. She was hot too. I mean who doesn’t find green aliens hot?!

C3PO: Head popped off. Oh My!

Battle Droid: His head came off too!

Jango Fett: Head sliced off. Hat’s off to his son for picking up his pappy’s head!

Anakin Skywalker: Hand sliced off. Hmmm- I foresee a trend…

Revenge of the Sith

Mace Windu: Hand sliced off. He fell too!

Count Dukoo: Both hands AND head sliced off- clearly 2nd place for limbs lost. 

General Grievous: 2 hands sliced off. Or, whatever they were.

2 Clone Troopers: Hey! Little Yoda sliced off TWO troopers heads in one shot!

Anakin/ Darth Vadar: An arm and BOTH legs!

A New Hope

C3PO: An arm taken off by the Sand People. How rude!

Trouble making Bar Guy: One arm sliced off. Guess he’s no longer a wanted man.

The Empire Strikes Back

Snow Monster: Arm sliced off. He ate it after. Ew!

C3PO: Blown apart- sure it has nothing to do with a lightsabre, but we have to include him because he’s just had such bad luck!

Luke Skywalker: Hand sliced off (and not only was his hand sliced off just like dear old dad, but it was sliced off by daddy dearest!)

Return of the Jedi

Darth Vadar: tisk tisk tisk- Another Hand Darth?! Clearly our limb losing winner at 2 legs and 3(?!) hands!

Limb Count

By Lightsaber: 12 hands/arms; 4 heads; 2 legs; 1 torso.

Other: 2 heads popped off, and miscellaneous getting blown apart.

Conclusion

George Lucas clearly was a messed up SOB who was obsessed with hacking off limbs. It’s a shame he hacked the latest three movies. Hands up for those who liked the movies. What? No Luke, Anakin, Bar Guy, Grevious or Windu? You guys didn’t like the movies?

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One Response to “————————–STAR WARS———————–”

  1. patrickivan Says:

    I am always seeing something new each time I watch the Star Wars series every month. Jango Fett lost his hand prior to loosing his head. That ups the limb count by 1.

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